The Winnie Bowl

HERE WE GO WINNIE BOWL WEEKLY ROUNDUP

Good Chris (4-3) vs The Heberts (6-1). The immortals are actually mortal! Now theres only one undefeated team left (more to come on them). Enjoy this mighty victory Chris. For the Heberts, this is nothing, still well on their way of achieving to be the first team to receive a ****.

Zac (5-2) vs Dan (3-4). Would you look at that, the fast kid is breaking away from the pack again. Damn you Zac! Also I dont think I’ve ever seen a perfect score of 100 points before.

Bad Chris (4-3) vs Briannnn (4-3). Theres a disturbance in the force. It must mean that Bad Chris beat briannnnn to win his 4th straight game! Injury alert though, down goes Odell for the remainder of the year. The best play from DK was touchdown related though ;). I’d like to give a round of applause to Bad Chris, hes bounced back from losing Barkley (done it too without using any of my trades to him too). Hope I didnt jinx you oops.

Alex (4-3) vs Seth (1-6). Breaking Winnie Bowl news! We have a new weekly high score. Congratulations to the Dweeb. I know Yahoo does a good job with records but we need our own. Maybe one of our Winnie Bowl members whos good with excel sheets could start keeping track of this stuff. Also since I’m on the topic need a new Winnie Bowl group chat because facebook is dead. Where else would we talk about in extensive length about Charles Karam? Shoutout to Dweeb for the text.

Matt (4-3) vs Kyle (0-7). Now theres only one remaining undefeated team left….the bad type of undefeated. Though the silver lining, we broke 100 points. Not going to win though when your WR’s combine for -.20 points. It looked like another ass whooping was coming my way when Matts team drop almost a 50 bomb on Thursday night.

^what an amazing photo.

Time to look ahead to this weeks matchups. HOLY SHIT ITS WEEK 8.

Zac is the lone wolf now gunning for The Heberts, while five members of the pack sit at (4-3). Now since its week 8 I’d like to start a new segment called Muck Watch. Every week I’ll post a photo of the contenders in the muck for your viewing pleasure. And now without further ado, the first edition of Muck Watch.

I do not like that my team is highlighted, fuck you yahoo.

The Heberts (6-1) vs Bad Chris (4-3). Tough matchup after suffering your first loss of the season, have to face the hottest team in the Winnie.

Zac (5-2) vs Seth (1-6). In college the analysts like to call this game a “Cup Cake” game. Roll Tide!

Alex (4-3) vs Briannnn (4-3). The good news is theres no way Dweeb will score 160 points again this week because of byes. The bad news is his team is still pretty good and briannnnn is dealing with injuries. #beatbriannnnn.

Good Chris (4-3) vs Matt (4-3). Someone is trying to avoid the muck, while someone is trying to leave the muck. Butt sweat incoming!

Dan (3-4) vs Kyle (0-7).. WE HAVE A MUCK BATTLE! What better way to open up week 8 than with a muck battle. I’d like to end this post with a quote from one of my favorite Eagles songs. “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!”

giphy hasnt put up any new gifs from this weekend so meh! i improvised.

The Heberts (6-0) vs Matt (3-3) The unstoppable force met a very moveable object. Even with a 40 point performance on the bench, no worries! Not the only team with a 40 point performance left on the bench (foreshadowing). Stand back rookie the defending champs are well on their way to back to back.

(insert one of adams players doing some good to further shame matt)

Briannnn (4-2) vs Good Chriss (3-3). What looked like on paper a sure thing win for good chris…..wrong! With five players on a bye briannnn had to be creative, and it paid off! 50 point difference, poor good chris left a almost 40 point performance on the bench. He was also held to his lowest performance of the season and was the lowest performance of the week. ouch, ouch, and lawls!!! ouch!

Zac (4-2) vs Kyle (0-6) Time to talk about the other team thats undefeated….the bad type that is. Hey! would you look at that Kenyan Drake finally had a good game…. sad part is he had 28 of my 77 points all the while two of my starters (Ingram & Ertz) got hurt. FUN TIMES! Zac you have one day left to collect your prize.

i really hate myself

Dan (3-3) vs Alex (3-3). The skid is over Dan can breath for a week. Poor Dweeb suffers heartbreak as the comeback lead by Murray came up a tad short. I’ll see myself out.

Bad Chris (3-3) vs Seth (1-5). Dont look now but Bad Chris has won three in a row. After starting 0-3 too! Seth glad you’re keeping me company down in the muck.

Time to look ahead to this weeks matchups. I’ve been noticing a common theme. the pack of teams are always together. We have five 3-3 teams, two 4-2 teams trying to separate themselves. Andddddd two shitty teams with a combine record of 1-11….had to do it, made me feel like ive accomplished something this season.

The Heberts (6-0) vs Good Chris (3-3). Coming off one of his worst losses of the season Good Chris gets the wrecking machine. Good luck!

Briannnnn (4-2) vs Bad Chris (3-3). What better way to stop a team thats on a good winning streak than to face the dark magic that is briannnnnn. How will things go horribly wrong for bad chris? I now open this up to suggestions as we did for Mike Wilburs races. Please leave comments below. Winner gets a box of cheese-its.

Zac (4-2) vs Dan (3-3). Tough matchup for Dan, should be another close one.

Matt (3-3) vs Kyle (0-6). This should be the easiest win of the season for you. I swear to god if Carson Wentz goes off on Thursday night I’ll eat fish sticks everyday until Tuesday. I hate this team, but I so hope youre the one I get my first win off of.

HERE WE GO WINNIE BOWL WEEKLY ROUNDUP

What a season this has been. Drama, drama , drama every single week. Nothing makes sense but here we are already at week 5.

The Heberts (5-0) vs Briannnnnn (3-2). It looked like briannnn would benefit once again from another covid related incident while taking on the top team in the league. No Allen, no henry, no problem! The unstoppable force of the Heberts is no match for the dark magic that briannnnn possess. The defending champions are showing no mercy.

Matt (3-2) vs Zac (3-2). Rookie beats last years rookie handily. RIP in peace to Dak. I’m still mourning too…. Matt picking up briannnns trash and turning it into treasure. by treasure I mean 13 points from KOOOOOOOOOO.

Seth (1-4) vs Good Chris (3-2). Congratulations on picking up your first win of the season, I still dont know that feeling yet.

Dweeb (3-2) vs Kyle (0-5). Once again failed to score any type of points. The struggle is real, nothing seems to be working in yours truly favor. As I’m writing this, I see my newest trade acquisition decided to get a DUI last night. Wonderful. Congrats on the easiest win youll have this year facing my pathetic team.

Bad Chris (2-3) vs Dan (2-3). Well well well bad chrisss has a little winning streak going. Dan is now struggling. Welcome to the muck. Enjoy your stay.

Time to look ahead to this weeks matchups.

Theres a clear odds on favorite. The Heberts sitting at the top. We have 5 teams at 3-2, two teams at 2-3 that are in the muck, and me and seth with combined one win. LAWLS ROFLCOPTER.

The Heberts (5-0) vs Matt (3-2). The next team up to receive an ass whooping is the rookie matt! Good luck!

Zac (3-2) vs Kyle (0-5). CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FREE WIN!!! CALL NOW 518-867-5309 TO RECEIVE YOUR PRIZE!!! I need a slump buster……wheres a fat chick. TANK! TANK!

Briannnn (3-2) vs Good Chriss (3-2). Both received losses, looking to avoid a skid. The next chapter of the Colorado rivalry will be made! #beatbriannnnnn

Dweeb (3-2) vs Dan (2-3). Dan trying to stop the bleeding that is his teams butthole. Facing a sneaky good Dweeb team. Will the muck allow Dan is escape?

Bad Chris (2-3) vs Seth (1-4) WE HAVE A MUCK BATTLE! Bad chris looking to climb out, Seth is trying as well along with keeping bad chris down here for good company……guess im not good enough company.

HERE WE GO WINNIE BOWL WEEKLY ROUNDUP

Goodbye September, hello October and it brought covid! This week was the blowout week.

The Heberts (4-0) vs Seth (0-4) Cruising to another victory. Even dealt with adversity because of covid. Seth glad im not the only person winless.

Bad Chris (1-4) vs Kyle (0-4). Congratulations on picking up your first win of the season. Once again my team has reverted to being god awful, not awful….god awful. Not to fear Stumpy is here!

Briannn (3-1) vs Matt (2-2). NOW thats how you get welcomed to the Winnie! Worst performance of the season against you know who. Classic Baird victory. Hey! at least my team wasnt the lowest performance of the week ;).

Good Chris (3-1) vs Dan (2-2) Dan walks away from this with a double L. His Chubb got a boo boo and wont be used for many whacky Wednesday’s.

Zac (3-1) vs Dweeb (2-2). Zac is flying under the radar. That is all.

Time to look ahead to this weeks matchups. I’d like to point out that the top 3 teams in the league have the lowest points against. Almost the same could be said about the bottom three teams but Dan screwed that up. Come on down Dan.

The Heberts (4-0) vs Briannn (3-1). Top matchup of the week, Heberts looking to stay undefeated but once again they “could” be facing adversity yet again because the Titans have covid. Who gets to benefit from yet another covid related game oh thats Briannnn in back to back weeks. #beatbriannnnnn.

Zac (3-1) vs Matt (2-2) Zac looking to stay atop of the league, ready to jump ahead of the loser of Heberts vs Briannnnn. Matt looking to avoid a three game skid and having a below .500 record on the season.

Dan (2-2) vs Bad Chriss (1-3). Dan needing to dig deep with his bench to makeup the production from his Chubb. Bad Chrisss fresh off his lone victory of the season looks to make it two in a row.

Good Chris (3-1) vs Seth (0-4). Battle of Colorado!

Dweeb (2-2) vs Kyle (0-4). Congrats on the win and best performance from your team this season. I already hate everything. Were on to Cincinnati.

HERE WE GO WINNIE BOWL WEEKLY ROUNDUP

The Heberts (3-0) vs Dan (2-1) The showdown of the week wasnt much of a showdown, fact it was a display that the Heberts are a scoring machine. Even with a 2 point performance from Mark Andrews, they still managed to put 145 points on the board. Their worst scoring week so far has been a measly 123 points.

Dweeb (2-1) vs Matt (2-1) An outstanding showing from Alex. Even without Kittle, he put up 140 on Matt. For Matt his first week without his first round pick CMC, still manages to eclipse the 100 point mark…..must be nice.

Good Chris (2-1) vs Kyle (0-3). What looked like another blowout, ended up being a garbage time score. You face my team, you get a free win, and a pretty good scoring week to go with it. I gotta say though my team did out perform itself…maybe this is the week we break 100 points….doubtful.

Zac (2-1) vs Bad Chris (0-3). Well as expected times would be tough for Bad Chris without having the #1 overall pick. Dion Lewis isnt gonna cut it. Zac was nice and even scored only 111 points.

Brian (2-1) vs Seth (0-3). Some will say this was better than the actual Monday night game. Watching Briannnnn tremble in fear to Patrick Mahomes was worth the free price of admission. A thank you to Chris Campoli for driving out to Grand Junction and spending an evening with Briannnnnnnnn. Brian though came away with the victory because Hollywood Brown wasnt in Baltimore that evening.

Time to look ahead to this weeks matchups. We have our first serious covid case. It could impact a couple games this weekend. NFL plans to play them but beware!! Also its rivalry week as we welcome the month of October…..how the fuck is it October already?!

The Heberts (3-0) vs Seth (0-3). Talk about opposite sides of the spectrum. The #1 scoring team facing poor Seth whos looking for his first win. God speed.

Briannn (2-1) vs Matt (2-1). The rookie versus the veteran! The matchup weve all been waiting for. Theres been a ton of yapping between these two and soon the showdown will be here.

Dan (2-1) vs Good Chris (2-1). Two very even teams battling it out between the current six 2-1 record teams.

Zac (2-1) vs Dweeb (2-1). Please see above.

Bad Chris (0-3) vs Kyle (0-3). We have another OH-FER BOWL. The second of the season! Covid cases popping up in the NFL, intense butt sweat as we helplessly route for our shitty teams to do anything. If Chris’s team absolutely goes off and destroys mine then I know for a fact that I have the curse of Cheyne in the points against category. May god have mercy on our poor souls while were stuck in the muck.

HERE WE GO WINNIE BOWL WEEKLY ROUNDUP

Week 2 is in the books. Holy shit. who survived who didnt when it came to injuries.

The Herberts (2-0) vs Kyle (0-2).

Well Adam cruised to an easy victory. My team struggled to score 80 points, but hey! we beat our previous score so thats progress. However!! My bench nearly beat my starters (.44). Currently the frontman to being Stumpman.

Dan (2-0) vs Briannnnn (1-1).

This matchup had everything, intense rivalry, shootout between QB’s on Sunday night, hope and pray for last minute points on Monday. But the critical error was made when Briannnnnnnn started AJ Green on Thursday over DK Metcalf aka Mr. Muscles because he was scared of Stephon Gilmore. I probably wont ever experience scoring 130 points this season, so I wont ever know what its like to lose a game while scoring 130 points.

Matt (2-0) vs Seth (1-1).

Another matchup coming down to the end. Matt the new guy is 2-0. Injury bug has struck both teams, Seth feeling it more as the injury bug hasnt left Denver. Sutton goes down on the IR while Matt losses his first round (2nd overall) pick Christian McCaffery for an extended period of time.

Zac (1-1) vs Good Chris (1-1).

Good lord! Zac I believe has broken his previous years and Winnie Bowl highest scoring record. Not much you can really do when the other guy has two 40 point performances on his team.

Dweeb (1-1) vs Bad Chriss (1-1).

Another classic OHfer-Bowl in the books. Bad Chris though took the worst loss in the battle that being he lost his #1 overall pick. Saquon Barkley has a torn acl. #1, and #2 picks going down in the same weekend. Ouchies.

Time to look ahead to this weeks matchups. We have three teams 0-2, four teams 1-1, and three teams 2-0. Not in panic mode yet, but holy shit my team STINKS.

The Herberts (2-0) vs Dan (2-0).

Top two teams facing off this weekend with first place up for grabs.

Matt (2-0) vs Dweeb (1-1).

Looking to be an even strength, high scoring battle. Will the new guy keep the winning streak rolling?

Briannnnn (1-1) vs Seth (0-2).

Some might say its a must win game for Seth. Briannnn looking to avoid a losing skid. Injury plagued teams, dont be a Dumb Butt this week.

Zac (1-1) vs Bad Chris (0-2).

What better way to come off a horrible weekend when you lost your #1 pick and best player than to face the team that just scored 169 points. Good luck!

Good Chris (1-1) vs Kyle (0-2).

Like my fix it board, I’ve added my entire team to the board. FIX IT! The goal this week is to score 80 points and hopefully not lose.

*editors note. I’ll do better next week with effort. Kyle got a new job, which requires him to do actual work. I miss quarantine life. not really….is it Friday yet?

DUMB BUTT OF THE WEEK.

HERE WE GO WINNIE BOWL WEEKLY ROUNDUP

The king is back, football that is. We have playoff hockey, playoff basketball, playoff baseball soon, pga, and now football. Is 2020 really that bad? JK it fucking sucks for the most part. Football is back! The Winnie is back, the highs and lows of football is back.

We only had roughly four days to view our draft, feel it out and dive right into the season. Everyone’s teams did well…..for the most part.

Briannnnnn (1-0) vs Kyle (0-1) Well fuck me, Briannnnns team essentially wrapped up our match by halftime of the 1pm games. Not gonna win when four of his players score more than your entire team. Briannnnn came out guns blazing and smacked me with the highest scoring performance of the week. Congrats on blowing your load. Maybe I should have drafted Russell Wilson, its not like we all knew…..

The Heberts (1-0) vs Zac (0-1) Our defending Winnie Bowl champions started off on the right foot taking down second year player Zac. Even with a 32 point performance sitting on the bench from the mighty Josh Allen, the Heberts cruised. Hopefully theres no sophomore slump for Zac.

Good Chris (1-0) vs Alex Aka Dweeb (0-1). The fix it board fixed itself to a W. David Johnson reminded us of his former self by putting up almost 17 points on Thursday night. Dweeby felt the wrath of his bench with two WR’s scoring a combined 30 points. Doesnt help when Davante Adams puts up a lone 27 points against you.

Dan aka Stan (1-0) vs Peacock aka Seth (0-1) The heartbreak of scoring 100 points, only to lose. Dan will use the moto of “Wham Bam Thank You Cam!” Poor Seth chose the wrong Denver RB as Gordon scored the touchdown this week….also I see that 13 point performance by Anthony Miller sitting on your bench.

Matt (1-0) vs Bad Chris (0-1). Welcome to the league new guy! Doesnt get much easier than that. Hey chrisssssssss I’m glad someone else joined me in the shitty performance this week. Made me feel a tad bit better, at least my bench didnt nearly outscore my starting roster.

Time to look ahead to this weeks match ups.

Lots of injuries already, some players are done for the year, others out for an extended period of time. Time to spend those Briannnnn bucks!

Theres the possibility of having four teams being 0-2 by the end of the week.

Briannnnn (1-0) vs Dan (1-0). Two high scoring teams meeting up in week two. A deep rivalry dating back all the way to our Suncrest Estates days. #beatbriannnnnnnnn.

The Heberts (1-0) vs Kyle (0-1). This is fair let me face off against the second highest performance from week one. Hopefully I manage to score 70 points this week. Baby steps.

Matt (1-0) vs Seth (0-1). Two 100 point performance teams squaring off, will the rookie win two in a row or do I smell an upset?

Good Chris (1-0) vs Zac (0-1). Projected scores as of right now separate these two by only 3 points. A lot already riding on this for Zac as he doesnt want to slip into a 0-2 start.

Dweeb (0-1) vs Bad Chris (0-1). WE HAVE AN OHFER BOWL! Week two already bringing us some butt sweat.

Since I no longer have facebook….RIP in peace Winnie Bowl. I will embed this here.

DUMB BUTT OF THE WEEK AWARD!

Greetings my fellow Dumb Butts,

It was time to fire up the blog again. Football is near? Well…. Will see. As of right now were green flag racing so that means lets GET HYPED! We need to discuss some topics along with introducing our Winnie Bowl Hall of Fame.

Without further adieu….

Introducing our brand new Winnie Bowl Hall of Fame! We have our first member, congratulations to Cheyne. Cheyne has announced his retirement from the league, our commissioner confirms. Cheyne had an outstanding career, he won the championship pre-winnie, I think 2008 season?

But he is known for being the other champion, The Tommy Bowl Champion. A two-time winner of the Tommy (2014, and 2017).

He took his punishment like a true champion, asking people about his wiener , and letting everyone know that “his anaconda dont want none, unless you got buns hun”.

Well we have a spot open, or do we? I’m happy to introduce to you the newest member of the Winnie Bowl Matthew Laroe.

Matt is a seasoned vet ready to make his mark within this league. He recently won a hefty prize in another league, he shit talks like no other. Last year his favorite player was Tyreek Hill aka REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK. He LOVES informing Briannnnnnnnnnn about any football related news, and is an outstanding Dumb Butt. Will Winnie grace her presence or will Tommy gain a new friend?

Lastly our commissioner informed us about a new system. No longer will we have a waiver, we will instead have Briannnnnnnn Bucks.

Use them wisely.

#beatbriannnnnnnnnnnnn

HERE WE GO WINNIE BOWL WEEKLY ROUNDUP

The 2019 fantasy season ends this weekend. Our champions will be crowned, one will receive nothing, the other will receive immortality.

BUT FIRST lets recap last weeks incredible match ups.

Team Heberts defeated our defending Winnie Bowl Champion.

The magical season that is our new guy aka Zac comes to an end by the evil empire. (Good luck figuring our where to send the cheese-its).

To the games that matter!

It was over by Thursday night, Lamar Jackson put several nails into Cheynes coffin by dropping 47! Our Two time Tommy Champ is headed back to the promise land.

The clear fan favorite needed to wait until Monday night to secure his victory. I’m sorry folks but I should be nominated for manger of the year. Everyone (except Drew Brees) on my team was a BUST! The nightmare season for me comes to an end, for Dweeb he has one more week left to win just one game.

One more note. I did offer Dweeb a trade that could have backfired on me, potentially saving his season back in November.

It’s time to crown our champions.

#1. Team Hebert (10-3) vs #2. Briannnnnnnn (9-4). The ultimate good vs evil.

Heberts with the old worst to first story within a years span (for Christine that is), they are looking to win their first Winnie since the 2015 season. Team Heberts have the clutch gene in the championship game, as stated they last won in 2015, also won in 2012. This would be their third Winnie and I believe be our first three time champion within the group.

For Briannnn he is making his first appearance in the championship game since the 2014 season. Last time he won was 2011, it would be his third Winnie.

#BEATBRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN #BEATBRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

#BEATBRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN #BEATBRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

THE TOMMY

#3 Alex (4-9) vs #4 Cheyne (3-10).

Will we have just the 5th ever member to be crowned Tommy Champion? OR will we have our first ever three-time Tommy Bowl Champion (lots of three’s).

More importantly I would like to help out our finalists. They have a lot to prepare for this week, gotta make sure the lineup is set, make sure you’re wearing very absorbent underwear. I want to help by listing available marathons for them to compete IF they are crowned Tommy Bowl Champion.

For Cheyne

For Dweeb

Fan vote

I think a lot of us would enjoy seeing our Tommy Champion run in this one.

https://www.vermontcitymarathon.org/

Lots of yummy beer (key is hydration) in Vermont. Good luck boysch.

Hope you are rested, hope you are ready to deal with the dreadful weekend that is almost here. I really hate the bye weekend, I bet Cheyne does too. Scores 131 points….it doesn’t count for shit. Second highest point total for Cheyne, first time his team has eclipsed the 100 point mark since week 9.

Time for us to do in very in depth analysis of the Tommy Bracket.

**** All credit goes to our commissioner Mr. Chris “Good Chris” Campoli. I’ve been too lazy and trying to forget that I’m in this playoff bracket.

Dan has the second most points of any Tommy bracket team.

Baird had the most last year. Fuck you briannnnnnnnnnnn.

Every year the team with the lowest point total in the Tommy bracket wins the Tommy except the year Dan won it with the second lowest.

A team with over 1300 points has only been in the Tommy bowl twice, both avoided the punishment. Good Chris and I are the only 1300 point teams that were in the Tommy bowl.

Its possible for a the Winnie bowl champion to have fewer points on the season than the Tommy bowl champion this year. This almost happened in 2013, Good Chris was in the Tommy bowl with 1324 points and dweeb won the Winnie with 1313. It also could have happened in 2014 when Bad Chris somehow won the Winnie with only 1172 points in 2011 baird won the winnie with 1281 and dweeb came in last with 1291.

1139 Dweeb 2019

1136 Seth 2015 1127 Cheyne 2017

1097 Cheyne 2014

1061 Bad Chris 2016

——-

1577 good Chris 2018

1552 Dan 2018

1549 Adam 2014

1528 Seth 2014

1518 Adam 2015

^^ Top 5 and bottom 5 regular season point totals of the Tommy bowl era.

* only the two lowest scoring teams in the tommy have ever won it .

HERE WE GO!

#1 seed Dan vs #4 seed Cheyne!

Tommy Bowl Champions squaring off to properly send one of them to the holy land.

#2 seed Kyle vs #3 seed Alex!

Both contestants have been in the Tommy and walked away.

2014- I handed Cheyne his first Tommy Bowl Championship.

2015- Dweeb handed Seth his second Tommy Bowl Championship.

2018- I handed Christine her first Tommy Bowl Championship.

Good luck to all, not really. Only good luck to me…..

We also have the Winnie bracket heading into semifinals.

#1 Heberts vs #5 Good Chris. Defending Winnie champ looking to defend his title.

#2 Briannnnnnn vs #3 Zac. New guy vs self proclaimed fantasy god. #beatbriannnnnnnnnnn.